The Rest We Are Starved For
Written by Dr. Elizabeth Brewer, PsyD
Psychological Associate, Dynamic Psychotherapy Center
September 2, 2025
Rest is often the first thing trauma and stress take from us. This piece explores why reclaiming rest is essential for healing, and how small practices can begin to restore it.
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day… is by no means a waste of time.” —John Lubbock
We live in a world that praises exhaustion. To be busy is seen as valuable. To rest is often confused with laziness. Yet the body and mind can only carry so much before they begin to whisper, through fatigue, irritability, or even illness, that something has gone unattended.
Rest is not just sleep. Rest is exhaling without rushing to the next inhale. Rest is allowing silence between words, pauses between efforts, and softness where we usually hold tension. Trauma often robs people of rest, keeping the body in a state of vigilance. Healing, then, is partly about remembering that safety and stillness are possible.
True rest is not passive, it is an act of resistance. To rest in a restless world is to declare: My worth is not in how much I produce, but in the fact that I am human. Rest is a return. Rest is reclamation. Rest is remembering that you are allowed to soften, and that you don’t need to earn your right to breathe.
🌿 Reflection & Gentle Practice
A 3-minute, body-based practice to regulate your nervous system and reconnect with yourself.
1. Ask yourself:
Where in my life am I running on empty? What might rest look like—even in small moments—this week?
2. A 2-minute practice:
Close your eyes. Drop your shoulders. Inhale slowly. Exhale even slower. Reminder yourself, “I am allowed to rest.”
3. Consider this:
If your body had its way, what kind of rest would it choose right now, sleep, stillness, play, or solitude?
Rest is not a luxury. It is a necessity. When we honor our need for rest, we honor our humanity. May this week hold even one small moment of rest that feels like yours to keep.
References
Dana, D. (2021). Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. Sounds True..
Fisher, J. (2017). Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors. Routledge.
Hersey, T. (2022). Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto. Little, Brown Spark.
Hooks, b. (2000). All About Love: New Visions. Harper Perennial.
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Viking.