Science and Soul in a World That Hurts: How-Trauma Informed Therapy and Nervous System Regulation Help Us Stay Present in Difficult Times.
Written by Dr. Elizabeth Brewer, PsyD
Psychological Associate, Dynamic Psychotherapy Center
“To feel it, fully, and still keep your hands soft, your spine long, your breath steady,
this is the work.”
Poem: It Is Difficult
It is difficult
to watch the world fall apart
and not look away.
Difficult
to see the burning
and not go blind
with denial or despair.
But to feel it
fully,
and still
keep your hands soft,
your spine long,
your breath steady
This
is the work.
This
is what it means
to live
with a heart that has not closed
🧠 The Psychology of Staying Present
When life feels overwhelming, through grief, burnout, injustice, or fear, our bodies often respond automatically. We might shut down, numb out, lash out, or withdraw. These are not flaws. They are protective nervous system responses designed to help us survive.
“The body always wins the argument,” writes trauma expert Resmaa Menakem (2021). We can’t think our way
out of distress, we have to feel our way through it.
Polyvagal Theory helps us understand how the nervous system responds to perceived safety or threat. When we feel safe, we can stay present, connected, and grounded. When we don’t, we move into fight, flight, or freeze (Dana, 2021). Trauma-informed therapy gently expands our ability to stay within what’s called the window of tolerance, the range where we can think, feel, and relate without becoming overwhelmed.
This is where co-regulation comes in: the nervous system’s ability to find balance through connection. In therapy, we use this relational safety to help clients move from survival to presence (Schore, 2021).
In session, we witness quiet but radical bravery:
- Naming a grief no one else sees
- Feeling sadness instead of numbing it
- Saying, “I’m not okay”
- Choosing to stay, even when escape would be easier.
These are not small acts.
They are deeply human forms of self-respect.
Poem: Hope Without Guarantees
Hope is not the promise of reward.
Hope is the willingness to begin
when the outcome is unknown.
It’s the seed planted
after seasons of drought.
It’s not the certainty of relief
it’s the quiet strength you carry
through the most difficult part
because you refuse to become the weight of it.
🌱 What Psychology Says About Hope, Now
Psychologists define hope not as blind optimism, but as a grounded, future-oriented mindset. Hope allows us to act in uncertain times with intention and meaning (Feldman & Snyder, 2016). It gives us a sense of direction, not because we know what’s coming, but because we’re willing to take one more step.
Recent trauma research reminds us that hope is not the opposite of pain, it walks beside it. It’s associated with post-traumatic growth, emotional flexibility, and meaning-making in the wake of suffering (Whittaker et al., 2025).
Some days, staying awake looks like advocacy.
Some days, it looks like crying in your car.
Some days, it looks like brushing your teeth even though your heart is heavy.
Whatever it looks like today, it counts.
Tool for Difficult Days: The Presence Pause
A 3-minute, body-based practice to regulate your nervous system and reconnect with yourself.
1. Pause
Find a shape that feels safe and supported. Let your body be still.
2. Orient and Feel
Ask gently:
– What sensations are present in my body?
– What is the emotional “weather” right now?
– Can I stay with it for just one more breath?
This practice supports interoception—your ability to sense what’s happening inside—which is a key ingredient in emotional regulation (Khalsa et al., 2018).
3. Offer yourself care
Place a hand over your heart, belly, or wherever feels tender. This gentle touch helps release oxytocin, the hormone of connection and safety (Fotopoulou & Tsakiris, 2017).
Say softly:
“I don’t need to fix this. I’m allowed to feel it.”
This isn’t about control.
It’s about companionship, with your own experience.
Whether you’re navigating heartbreak, anxiety, or the ache of being awake in a hurting world,
this moment of presence is enough.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You don’t have to be certain.
You just have to stay in honest, embodied relationship with what’s true.
To stay awake in a world that urges us to numb is not just resilience.
It is love.
If you’re looking for a space to reconnect with your breath, your story, and your strength, our
therapists are here to walk with you.
References
Dana, D. (2021). Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. Sounds True.
Feldman, D. B., Snyder, C. R., & Rand, K. L. (2016). Hope and the Meaningful Life: Theoretical and Empirical Associations Between Goal–Directed Thinking and Life Meaning. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 25(2), 123–145.
Fotopoulou, A., Tsakiris, M., & Critchley, H. D. (2017). Mentalizing homeostasis: The social origins of interoceptive inference. Neuropsychoanalysis, 19(1), 3–28.
Khalsa, S. S., Adolphs, R., Cameron, O. G., et al. (2018). Interoception and mental health: A roadmap. Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging, 3(6), 501–513.
Whittaker, S., Rasmussen, S., Cogan, N., et al. (2025). Posttraumatic growth among suicide-loss survivors: Protocol for an updated systematic review and meta-analysis. JMIR Research Protocols, 14, e64615.
Menakem, R. (2021). The Quaking of America: An Embodied Guide to Navigating Our Nation’s Upheaval and Racial Reckoning. Central Recovery Press.
Schore, A. N. (2021). Right Brain Psychotherapy. W. W. Norton & Company.